The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
