just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
