Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
