They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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