M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
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his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
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I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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