I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
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Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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