Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
