I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Irish car bombs ever.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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