sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
