but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
ok first of all what the fuck
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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