Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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