you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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