he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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