do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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