I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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