All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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