Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
