Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Just cropdusted the office
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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