he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
