I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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