She said her name was "party"
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
