just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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