Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
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Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
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If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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