I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
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I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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