Your tits are I can't wait for
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
there is puke in my bra ... again
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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