im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
