My nipple is on Facebook.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
She is in my trunk
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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