I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize
