I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
