I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
