the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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