spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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