Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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