Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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