I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize