so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just found puke in my bra..
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
