You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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