I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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