His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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