I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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