I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize