my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
