You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
