dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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