Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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