so explain again why im purple
no
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
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You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
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I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I believe in your delicious
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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