Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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