Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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