you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
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my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
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I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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