I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
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You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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