I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
