just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
