Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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