I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize