are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
