If i come over, it means nothing
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize