I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
